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“…I suffer of love!” – I said to my other ego. Nearby, standing defiant, the judge ego of my personal challenge told me that I’m mad. There were just a few moments till the midnight will scream three times in a row. In the graveyard all egos I won were gathered, wearing black clothes and watching me. Their look was cold … they were waiting for something, that’s why no one felt the dust slip through the hands in the grave that sheltered me in silence. I didn’t know what’s happening – I was frantically screaming that I am claustrophobic, the claustrophobia of a new will, but they were all deaf to my desperate movements searching for salvation. In an overwhelmed silence, suddenly, a short whisper took birth. All egos started to echo a short song in Pāli or Sanskrit (I can’t remember). It was a song about the happiness of after; that was the last thing I needed in that moment! Immediately all stopped from singing and through the crowd a young lady was coming straight to me. She was dressed in black, with her white face bend into the ground, with eyes almost closed, her polished hair flowing on her barely naked shoulders and carrying a white rose in her hand … […] reaching on the edge of the grave, she took off her white glove she was wearing in these kind of moments, and all of a sudden she crouched her soft fingers over the stinger steam of the rose. The blood bits began a hallucinate fall, one of them reaching the pure petals of innocence – after that she threw the rose on my grave and she left without looking back. In that moment I felt that my whole life never had a more complex sense of our union. I started to cry, and in the place where my tears drained started to raise white lilies of an extraordinary splendour… Few moments gone – all egos started again the funeral incantation and after that I fell asleep! I don’t know if I ever woke up, but I always can see that white face under the darkness of suffering. “…I suffer of love!” – I said to myself and to her, than I couldn’t see anything – just a tiny flickering light!!!
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